last night i dreamt

11/4/2005, 1:04 PM

Fri, 04 Nov 2005 14:04:25 -0500

I lived on top of a wooded hill in a trailer with 3 roommates. Everyone around left to go to a halloween party, and I went, but got there and realized i'd forgotten my costume. As I walked back up the hill, i heard some people say, "She's going back. Let's follow her."
When I got to my house, 3 big guys and their girlfriends were going through our stuff and taking things out to their truck. I was afraid they were armed, so I didn't stop them, and even helped them move stuff. I couldn't get to a phone without their noticing, so I decided to be mildly irritating until help arrived. Finally a pretty big guy i know got to my house, and he took over, telling people not to take things, but they didn't really listen. I went back to my room and saw a little asian girl trying to take a laptop, so i picked her up by the arm and handed her to one of the girlfriends, who was wearing swiffer wetjet pads as shoes. I started talking trash to her, and ended up getting in a brief scuffle before I ran through the house, out the front door, and down the hill to get other people to help us. On my way down the hill, I encountered everyone coming back from the party, and started yelling "911!"
They went up to the house and made the people leave.

6/13/2005, 8:21 AM

Mon, 13 Jun 2005 09:21:57 -0400

my city was invaded by zombies, and somehow I escaped being bitten. none of my friends did, however, and they turned into zombies. in order to keep from being turned into one of them, I just pretended to be a zombie as well. my friends and I wandered around town, looking for people to eat, and we went into the library. there was an asian couple sitting on the couch, and they were relieved to see us because they thought we were normal -- you couldn't *really* tell the zombies from the regular people if they tried to look normal. then my friends attacked them, but I had to pretend like I had just eaten, so they wouldn't get suspicious.
i ended up without my zombie friends, at wal-mart, to buy deodorant. i was walking through the parking lot when I saw my roommate and her boyfriend sitting in a car. i walked up to the window to talk to her, and asked her if she was a zombie. she said she was, and just to throw her off, i tried hard to look really undead. we went into wal-mart for a while, wandering around and avoiding the really cranky-looking zombies, until I found the deodorant section.

5/10/2005, 9:23 PM

Tue, 10 May 2005 22:23:09 -0400

Nazi cannibals captured a huge group of people and put us on an island so they could save us for later. The only way out was to go through a huge Double-Dare-esque obstacle course. Everyone had to do it, and there were a LOT of people. I was at the very beginning, and there was a big plastic mouth to pry open and wriggle down the throat, a nose (full of candy) to climb up, and other huge, weird, plastic things. The very last obstacle was to open a window, over the water, and climb an old wooden ladder, then jump into the water and swim away from the island before they could catch us.
one of the nazi cannibals described to me a "crispy pie crust" that he wanted to make.
there was a big woodsy trail to run down after we swam to the other side, and I was afraid we wouldn't make it, but we all escaped them.

5/4/2005, 11:57 AM

Wed, 04 May 2005 12:57:06 -0400

I was at Georgia Tech, and I was trying to pretend like I was a student there and work out at their gym. I tried to slide my ID card through the card reader, but the lady at the desk told me that you had to slide your thumbnail instead, then press a series of buttons. I kept trying, and when it wouldn't work, I asked someone why. "It has to be 9 inches or longer -- just go on inside." So I was looking for an aerobics class, and I ended up wandering into the facilities area -- there were doors to bakeries and ice cream shops and things like that. All I could think was, "This isn't a good place for all these food places. They must not get much business."

5/4/2005, 11:53 AM

Wed, 04 May 2005 12:53:02 -0400

Mark Curry (from Hangin' with Mr. Cooper) was complaining to me that his GED could never get him any real jobs.

4/20/2005, 9:00 AM

Wed, 20 Apr 2005 10:00:55 -0400

I had to take a spanish test, but first I was supposed to move this big barrel. I picked it up with both arms and was handing it to someone, when they ripped it out of my grip. It pushed huge, flat pieces of wood into the inside of my left forearm, like splinters. I tried to pick them out, but there were three really big ones, probably 2"x3", that wouldn't come out without tweezers. I went and sat down at the desk to take my test, and just ignore the splinters, which were really bloody by then. Then my mom came in and tried to pull them out before the test started with tweezers.

4/19/2005, 8:31 AM

Tue, 19 Apr 2005 09:31:11 -0400

I started out cleaning tables at a restaurant, but then I went to my parents' house on my break and was their maid. They wanted me to only clean the pool, which looked really inviting, and they left, so I went upstairs and put on my bathing suit. I had a really large, weirdly shaped sunburn along my back and side, and it hurt. I noticed that their room was a little messy, so I started to clean it. Then these news anchors appeared in the bathroom and started talking about all the amphetamines they took in the early 80s, and how they were glad that was over. But then this one anchor was obviously still on them, and he started dancing and insisting that everyone jump in the pool.

3/30/2005, 8:39 AM

Wed, 30 Mar 2005 09:39:15 -0500

i was doing an interview with all these Japanese people at a restaurant in the US, and it started to flood outside really fast. i had to run all the way to the top floor and yell at people to evacuate, but none of them spoke english. when everyone finally evacuated, we all (including almost everyone i know) climbed into a big stone slab with seats and a roof, that was supposed to float us away to safety. one girl started crying, because she communicated telepathically with her dogs, and they told her they had just died. someone asked if it hurt, and she said no, she couldn't feel it. i started worrying about my boyfriend, and i called him, but everyone in his house had been instructed by the cook to get into a trailer so they would float.

3/28/2005, 8:35 AM

Mon, 28 Mar 2005 09:35:10 -0500

i was running up a street in downtown somewhere at night, and as i got toward the end of it, there were two bright white new buildings. One was still being built, in fact, and a couple people that I know where outside sanding the white marble, trying to get it built. I ran inside another building, and there was an old man on the top floor that I was supposed to go on a date with. My mom was in the building, so i said i was going to use her as an excuse why i couldn't go on the date -- that she had said I wasn't allowed to date really old men. I was downstairs, trying to get to the top floor of the tower to tell him, but the floors were all slanted and slippery, and I was barefoot and couldn't keep my footing.
Then the cops showed up and started arresting people for public drunkenness, and I kept trying to explain to the officer that I wasn't drunk, and he could smell me and tell, and that the floor was just bad for walking, but he patronizingly dragged me over to the cop car. I said, "At least go upstairs and ask my mom! she'll tell you!" at which point the cop got all concerned and apologetic, saying he didn't know i was there to study, and that he was very sorry for disturbing me.
As i walked away, I noticed my arresting officer was Omar Gooding,. I said, "You were on Wild and Crazy Kids!" He was very pleased that I noticed, and I heard him commenting on it to the drunks in the lobby as I walked off.

3/11/2005, 8:31 AM

Fri, 11 Mar 2005 09:31:56 -0500

i was in my car, in a crowded parking lot, waiting to leave. i think there was a shootout or something right in front of me, but someone's gas tank exploded and got gas all over all the other cars. there were explosions everywhere, and as i sat in my car, things kept flying into my windshield; mostly parts of cars and people. i got out, kept very low to the ground, crawled through a neighboring car, and ran as fast as I could, zigzagging through the cars, to the back of the parking lot where my family was.
once I got past a certain point, things weren't flying at me anymore, but it was still extremely dangerous, and no one else in the parking lot seemed to realize there was a back way out. my family and i ran up to a huge old church at the back of the parking lot, to try to run through it and escape. someone had abandoned a jeep at hte entrance, but it wouldn't drive through just one doorway, so we opened both doors, and i got an axe from the fire kit on the wall, and chopped off the strip between the doors so we could drive through.
Once we were inside, we had to run, and there weren't many people. The exit was down the stairs, so we ran down a huge dark wood set of stairs into the grand hall, but all the exits were locked. The people in the main entry didn't seem worried about leaving at all, so i was the only one who cared enough to try and open the windows or doors. I got a window open, and the entire section of wall fell out. Outside, 5 feet away, in a thick patch of ivy, was a white van. The door was open, and there was a thick layer of spiderwebs over the floor. someone cleared them out, and we started to pile in to escape. Another man came up to us and asked us if there was room in the van for him, so we let him in too.

3/10/2005, 12:46 PM

Thu, 10 Mar 2005 13:46:09 -0500

i was going to take a structures test, and i almost forgot to bring a pencil. i chose the metallic blue one, for luck.

2/28/2005, 4:07 PM

Mon, 28 Feb 2005 17:07:28 -0500

my sister could turn into a bunny at will. when she did, she looked just like the one we have in our apartment. she hopped down the stairs and into my room, and a newspaper reporter came over and wanted to interview her, but she hopped under the couch and I couldn't catch her and make her turn back into herself.

2/27/2005, 2:27 PM

Sun, 27 Feb 2005 15:27:01 -0500

i was at a mall with people i didn't know very well, on a field trip. They were all forming groups and going off to shop, and i was being awkward and wandering around between groups, poking halfheartedly through the prom dresses. i decided i was hungry, so i went to a store that only sold french fries. I went to the bathroom, and there were HUGE french fries, the size of those swimming pool noodles, sticking out from under the stall doors. I went in, sat down, broke off the end of a fry, and started eating it. The latch didn't work that well, so some girl tried to come in, and i was more embarrassed about her seeing me eating the huge french fry than her seeing me on the toilet.
when i went back into the restaurant, i sat down with some people i didn't know that well, including a few chaperones. someone was doing something that must've been against the rules, because they got assigned to "babysit stewie."
then we were riding home in a big 15-passenger van, and i was sitting on the arm rest. There was a guy in the median of the road, facing us, who was walking toward us, then just kicked his shoe off really hard. I decided to sit in a seat and buckle up. Then the driver took us through a familiar-looking neighborhood, and i realized it was where one of my professors lived.

2/17/2005, 2:03 PM

Thu, 17 Feb 2005 15:03:49 -0500

the recyclability number on the bottom of my yogurt container was 32.

2/16/2005, 8:29 AM

Wed, 16 Feb 2005 09:29:44 -0500

I was in the basement of a high-rise dorm that was right at the tip of where the ocean started. My studio was there, and we were looking around, when I received a phone call from a friend from high school. She was in charleston studying weather patterns and wanted to know if we had seen any tornadoes, because all the conditions were right for them where I was. I told her that no, it was blustery outside, but no tornadoes. Once I got off the phone, I went outside, and sure enough, there was a funnel cloud, reaching all the way to the ground, coming straight for us. I managed to scream and get everyone inside the basement and against the ground floor wall as soon as the tornado hit. Me and 3 other girls were in the corner nearest to the door, and one girl and I kept being sucked away from the wall, but the others pulled us back to safety. As soon as that part stopped, the waves from the ocean flooded the basement -- they crashed into the room and tossed everyone around, but the room was only flooded for a couple minutes. We stood up and looked outside, and we could see the tornado retreating, no more than 20 feet away from us. It faltered a few times, like it was going to come back, but it finally moved on.